unafraid

i'll shave my head if i get cancer and tattoo on the back of my neck, "be strong" because my body betrays me, but i'll live on. i'll lay under a blanket if i get a cold because i feel under the weather, but i'll still skip above it. I'll light a candle if the power goes out and drip the wax onto the floor because i can follow the drops out the door to the light. I'll grow my wings if my skin gets burned, because something so beautiful can disguise the scorch marks and the healing process even though it has beauty within itself and beneath the pain. I'll cry upon my notebook if i feel i must let it all go, because the smeared ink provides comfort that someone somewhere is smearing red ink with their tears instead of blue. If it rains, i'll go out and play, because life is too short to be afraid of getting your hair wet. I'll play with matches because i told you that i like fire and i find joy in it turning my fingers black with carbon stains. I'll smile at you because there are not enough hours in the day for one not to find joy in something small. I'll kiss his cheek because i feel my cheeks grow rosy when i do so, and this chemistry between us makes it hard for these butterflies not to rage. If i get sick, i'll write letters because i want to tell them i love them before i leave for good. And if i die, i'll say goodbye because  i'm hoping that you'll miss me. ANd when i die, i'll say goodbye without resentment or hurt left in my heart. And then i'll die, and i'll say goodbye, and breath for my very last. ANd when the heart monitor goes flat, you'll know im ok, and that i finally got those wings that i've always wanted.